His Story

Following in the footsteps of a friend, I'm posting my son's birth story. Someday I know I'll look back and only hazily remember many of the moments that transpired, but hopefully I can re-read my story and know that as weak as I may feel some days, I am so amazingly strong because I was able to bring another life into this world. My tiny little miracle.

I was convinced Monday night that the baby wasn't coming on his own. I'd been having fake contractions for weeks with no progress. After months of believing that he would come at least a week or two early, I was quickly losing hope and looking more toward an induction (the thought of which I loathed). My bag was packed, everything was ready ... and that never happens! For once, we were prepared and still ... no baby.

I woke up Tuesday around 4:30 AM with a horrible stomach pain. Horrible doesn't even really describe how awful this pain was. I thought that maybe my stomach was just really upset, so I crawled out of bed and went to the bathroom. Nothing. So back to bed I went. I quickly figured out that my "stomach pains" were contractions coming about 10 minutes apart. Stephan was still sleeping, so I decided to take a warm shower, figuring that I had plenty of time to get ready before needing to head for the hospital. They always say that your first delivery takes the longest, so I assumed that I probably had at least a couple of hours before we might need to go to the hospital. As is typically the case in our life, though, my assumptions were about to smack me in the face!

The contractions only got closer after my shower, so I had just enough time to throw on some make-up and scrunch my hair in between grunting through the pain. Yes, I wore make-up. It's how I deal with stressful situations ... I try and go about everything as if it's as normal as any other day. Interesting, to say the least, but all the same.

By the time we left for the hospital at 6:30 AM, two hours after my first contraction, they were coming 5-6 minutes apart. By the time we reached the hospital around 7:00 AM, they were 3-4 minutes apart. Our baby had decided to come, alright! The drive to the hospital was hell. I never realized how many bumps were in that road until we had to hit every single one on the way there while I'm trying to breathe through contractions. We finally made it after what felt like the longest half-hour car ride of my life. The Welcome people at the front door of the hospital gave me such pitiful looks when I walked in. Of course, I was right in the midst of a contraction trying to tell them that I was checking into Labor & Delivery. I’m sure I looked a hot mess, make-up, wet hair, and all.

I finally got checked in and all of that fun stuff (thank God for pre-registration forms). My L&D nurse was absolutely amazing. I couldn't have asked for anyone better. She was so sweet and supportive! She was also a Marine wife, which only added to our nurse-patient bond. I definitely got lucky there.

They hooked me up to an IV to give me fluid and I started to get chills and shiver really badly. I was convinced it was freezing in the room, but apparently that can happen when your labor moves as quickly as mine did. So much for the first time being slow, huh? And apparently, nausea is also a lovely side effect. I got to vomit in front of my husband for the very first time, as if I wasn’t about to lose enough of my dignity. He was so amazing, though. He held the little pink bucket as I puked my brains out, apologizing to him the whole way through. He told me later he was trying his hardest not to throw up watching me throw up. I can't say that I blame him!

Afterward, I steadily breathed through some more contractions. Stephan was a great coach. I think the nurses found him a bit distant or cold but he was doing exactly what I needed him to do. I didn't need pity. I needed a firm voice to tell me that I was okay, that I could do this, and that I was going to be fine. I kept reminding myself that the epidural wasn't far off. Kudos to any woman who gives birth naturally! Pain makes me an angry person, though, and I didn't want to be in that place when I brought my child into the world.

I got the epidural around 9:30 AM. It would've been sooner but they had to run bloodwork first and the lab was running behind, go figure. The anesthesiologist was really awesome, though. Once again, I couldn't have asked for anyone better. He was genuinely nice and comforting. He explained everything to me and was really reassuring that it was safe and that I’d be fine. Getting the epidural didn't hurt a bit and afterward I felt so calm and peaceful, but it did slow my progress down some, so they started me on Pitocin. Even through the epidural, I could tell that Pitocin truly is the devil. My contractions picked up like none other. And of course, my left leg decided not to numb. They had me laying on my left side trying to numb it, but it was being very uncooperative. I was starting to feel my contractions again, and at 1-2 minutes apart, they hurt like absolute hell. Another anesthesiologist came in and re-positioned the catheter and gave me another dose of medication, which helped some. Regardless, they got it numb enough to where I at least wasn't in excruciating pain.

I tried to sleep for a bit, but the catheter they'd put in (since I couldn't get up and walk to the bathroom) was annoyingly uncomfortable so I just dozed in and out for a couple of hours. At least it was some rest to prepare for what was to come.

Finally, I got to start pushing around 1:45 PM. Quite honestly the most difficult and energy-consuming thing I've ever done. I pushed for almost 2 hours. I was amazed at how exhausting pushing was. I knew it would be hard work, but 2 straight hours of it and I was beat. Every muscle in my body ached, and I was beginning to wonder if I was doing something wrong. The nurse was very reassuring, though, and finally my OB came in and got everything set up for our little one's arrival. I gave a few good, long pushes and finally hit the push where I could feel him and didn't want to stop, so I pushed on through and finally I heard her say "Here he is!" and then I heard him cry. That moment will never leave me. She held him up and I started to cry. He was beautiful, so perfect, and he was MINE. Stephan and I had created this tiny little being that was laying on my stomach. I must've looked terrified because Stephan gently said "Hold him." I did, and he's had my heart ever since.

Our little boy was born on January 26th, 2010 at 1529 (3:29 PM). He weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 19 and 1/2 inches long with a full head of dark brown hair. He looks just like his daddy and I couldn't be more proud to be his momma.

Looking Back

This post will be mostly composed of just a few pictures, but they speak volumes about my life right now. My husband's daughter just turned 4 recently. When I met her, she was about a year and a half old. Our son is 3 months old today. I can't believe how big they've both gotten and how fast the time has gone by. Mommies, cherish every single moment because as I'm sure you've noticed, they fly past you. One blink and a thousand moments have passed. It's truly inconceivable, but such a beautiful, crazy ride that I wouldn't trade for the world. I love them both dearly and can't wait to continue watching them grow and learn and become who they want to be in life.

Love. Love. Love.

A Somber Note

Today has been bittersweet from the beginning. Nothing of true significance has really happened, except what I discovered on Facebook this morning. I saw that a friend of mine from my hometown joined a group in memory of a soldier. The name didn't automatically stand out to me, but when I clicked on the link and saw the face, my heart stopped for a moment. Yet another young man that I went to high school with passed away while fighting overseas with the military. That makes three young men alone that have died that I went to high school with. The town that I grew up in isn't tiny, but it's not very large either ... especially not when I was growing up there. So to know three guys that have passed ... it tugs at my heart. It quite honestly brings tears to my eyes. I didn't know any of them especially well. We definitely weren't best friends or anything of the sort. But the fact that I knew their faces, their stories, I saw them daily walking down the hallways around me ... it hits home in a very real way. They're such brave men to go do what they did, and I hope the list ends with them, though I know there's a very real possibility that as time passes, I will add more names to the list and more "R.I.P." groups to my Facebook page. I know far too many left our town to serve their country, and not all of them will come home, though I can pray to the contrary. Until that time, I will continue to honor the ones who've died by remembering their names, their faces, and their ultimate sacrifices.

Mini M - With every post I make, I know I'll think of you, especially today. You come from a Navy family. Your Pop Pop and Nana both served, and so did your daddy. They all served proudly and believed so strongly in their duty to their country. They've all known sacrifice, though luckily it has never been the ultimate price they've had to pay. Someday you'll face the choice of joining the military or not. Regardless, I hope that you'll carry the pride with you that we all carry in our hearts and remember that your freedom has never come without a price. Take advantage of every opportunity you meet, simply because you have been afforded that luxury. I love you, Bubba.

In the beginning ...

... there was one boy and one girl. They met online on a Thursday evening over a conversation about music, as lame as it sounds, and then met in person the following day at the beach. Both looking for nothing more than a casual date and a new friend, they spent the next 5 or 6 hours talking, laughing, and unbeknownst to them at the time, falling completely in love with each other. 6 months later, boy proposed to girl over the phone all the way from Hong Kong. 2 months after that, an official proposal came, along with a beautiful diamond ring. One year later, a little surprise was conceived. 5 months later, boy and girl were married in an intimate and beautiful ceremony. And 4 months later still, a beautiful little baby boy was born into this world. All of this because two years ago, one boy and one girl met and changed every plan they'd ever had to spend a life together.

I'm sure this blog will be about a myriad of life's happenings, but mainly, it's for my son. I don't always have a pen and paper handy to write down his milestones or the many things I want to say to him, but if I can somehow record these things somewhere (even in an online blog), someday he can look back and know what his early days were like. My husband and I don't lead a normal life. Nothing is ever really easy for us, and we're still waiting for that "big break." We'll get there, I know we will. But until then, we'll continue loving each other and our baby boy like crazy and working hard every day to make sure that someday, Mini M knows a good life and not the struggles we face today.